Last week held a monumental moment for me as a mother. I got to braid Elise's hair. It was just a little braid up front to keep her hair out of her eyes, and it didn't last long, but it was new territory. I'm slowing wading into the "beauty pool" with my daughter.
Noel is almost 5, and I can count on one hand the number of times we have had fights/discussions about what he wants to wear. Already with Elise it's a different story. She has certain favorite shirts and shoes, and wants to look "like a princess" or "like Barbie". How does my 2 year-old already have these ideas? Seriously, she watches Handy Manny and Mickey Mouse with Noel. I'm chalking it up to genes and lots of commercials.
Anyway, as I am starting to figure this "daughter" thing out, I am starting to realize how much of what we think about the way we view ourselves is passed down. For years I have struggled with being confident in what I look like. I know that part of it comes from growing up in a family where my mom never viewed herself as beautiful. I think subconsciously we carry those thoughts and tell them to ourselves. And without thought, we say these things out loud. Whether it's "I hate my hair" or "I hope you don't get my thigh", or whatever, my daughter is listening. She is learning. From me.
What is it I want to pass on to my daughter about her looks? Do I want her to care about them? Is there a balance between too much focus on outward appearance and beating yourself up? I'm just beginning to think about these things, but I know that I need to be very careful about the words I say, because my daughter is a sponge who is soaking this all up. I want her to grow up and feel beautiful. Not because of a certain make-up, hairstyle, or dress size, but beautiful because God made her fearfully and wonderfully. The only way she will learn that is through her mom.
Man, this parenting gig is tough.
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